(I’m listening to Primitive Radio Gods – Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand)

“You guys gonna try for a boy?”  As a father of two girls, I get that question a lot.  I thought about that question today when our family was on the way home from REI.

We bought Littles a snowboard.  We didn’t really mean to, it just happened.  It was an uncharacteristically cloudy day in the Denver metro area, we were sitting around at 3 in the afternoon, and we were wasting the day.  The wife and I didn’t feel like doing anything, but we couldn’t just keep sitting around, so I suggested going to REI because they have an indoor play area for which the girls could get out their energy.  Plus, I always have a coupon, a dividend, or a gift card to REI.  I’m kind of frugal like that.  The wife said, “Perfect, Littles needs a water bottle for school.  Let’s go!”  We loaded up the girls, and we were off.

We get to REI and did our water bottle shopping.  Littles could barely contain herself.  She knows about the play area at REI.  If I’m planning on taking her to REI to shop for an hour, forget about it.  Here’s what an hour at REI looks like with Littles.  I’ll have 2 minutes to shop, the next 10 will be spent telling her that we’re not done shopping yet, the next 42 will be spent in the play area, and the last 6 minutes will be used convincing her to leave.  Every visit is like that.  What can I say?  She loves the slides there.

So we’re at the play area, and as it turns out, this isn’t an original idea on a dreary day.  There are lots of kids and lots of parents.  Littles isn’t shy and we hear her say, “Can I play with you?”  It melts my heart when I hear stuff like that.  Littles is such a kindhearted kid.  We hear the other child say, “Sure!”  We know she’ll be fine, so the wife and I decide to look around in the kids area. (By the way, aren’t kids awesome?  I learn a lot from watching them.  They just accept each other and don’t ask questions. There are no judgments.  All it takes is a, “Can I play with you?” And they’re best friends for the next 42 minutes.)

Anyway, I had been to REI a couple of weeks before and saw a snowboard that was Littles size.  I want to get her started in it.  We’ve been up a couple of times and she rides on my board with me on the bunny hill.  From the, “Again daddy,” and the, “Faster, daddy,” she seems to like it.  Plus, it’s something we can do together.  The wife has given it her best shot, but I just don’t think it’s in the cards for her.  My little ladies will be my best shot for companionship on the hill.

Littles is 3 and she’ll be 4 by the start of next season, so I bring the wife over, just to have a look.  She says, “Well, it is something we’re going to have to invest in, it’s a great deal, so yeah, let’s do it.”  I don’t know who will be more excited at the point, me or Littles.  We call Littles over from the play area and say, “Hey Littles!  Do you like this snowboard?”  Here’s our answer!

We’re both excited!  Littles first “towboard!” (She says “towboard” instead of “snowboard.”  It’s really cute.)  We grab the snowboard, spend our 6 minutes convincing Littles to leave the play area, pay for the snowboard, and head home.

On the drive home, Littles is tired from the play area, but she asks if we can go “towboarding.”  When we tell her we’re going home, she’s disappointed.  She thought we were going snowboarding now!  The wife and I reassure her that we’ll go soon and we start talking about our schedules and how we’ll be able to make it work and how much fun we’re going to have.  I start thinking about Littles and me on the hill, having the time of our lives.  Me passing down one of my passions to her.  That’s when I think about the question, “You guys gonna try for a boy?”

I don’t know why I thought of that question.  Is it a social norm?  Do I subconsciously want to raise a boy since I’m a man?  Is it subliminal advertising?  I don’t really have a good answer.  What I do know is I don’t mind answering that question; I actually enjoy it.  It seems natural to ask that question to a dad with two girls.  It makes for good conversation.  I can understand where the questions comes from, even if I can’t explain it.  The truth is, the wife and I always thought we were going to have a boy, but we didn’t.  We were blessed with two little ladies.

So, “You guys going to try for a boy?”  Nope.  I’m perfectly happy with a family full of ladies.  I’m fulfilled.  I love my girls and they are amazing.  I can do anything with my girls that I would do with a boy; and I do!  Can I teach them to snowboard? Yep!   Can I teach them to throw a baseball?  Yep!  Can I help them with their homework? Yep!  Can they be super heroes?  Littles already thinks she’s Wonder Woman (or “Woman Woman” as she says).  I’ll play princesses with them, I’ll play cars with them, I’ll jump on the trampoline with them, I’ll teach them to ride a bike, and I’ll teach them about the greatest musical era of all-time…the 1990’s.  My girls can be anything they want to be, and that’s how I’ll raise them.

In college, I dated a girl from a family of two girls.  The dad loved me!  He’d call me to play golf with him, he let me drive his farm equipment, we had coffee together, we’d talk man to man.  He appreciated me.  I think he actually took it harder than his daughter did when she broke up with me.  He called me to make sure I was okay.  We played golf a couple of more times.  Maybe he saw the son he never had in me.  I don’t know.

I’m sure I’ll feel that way if my girls get married to a couple of nice men, but it won’t be because I wanted a son.  I’ll feel that way because those boys parents will have taught them that girls can be anything they want to be.  Those boys will treat my girls as I do.  My girls will expect that, and those boys will have some stiff competition with this daddy.  My girls will know what it’s like to be loved, they’ll know what it’s like to be respected, and they won’t need to go anywhere else to get affection because they’ll get if from me.  They’ll eventually seek the affection of another man; but when they do, it won’t be because they need to.  They’ll make that decision because they want to and they’ll have someone that’s worthy of their decision.

Aside from being a faithful follower of Christ and a great husband, I can’t think of a greater responsibility and joy than raising two amazing ladies.  They’re my girls and I’ll love them the rest of my life.

In the end, we did get a water bottle.  The wife ordered it on Amazon, from the 3rd story of REI.  Mission accomplished.