(I’m listening to “Breathing Underwater” by Metric)

I looked around the house, saw the kids toys and clothes strewn about in every room, and said to the wife, “We have crap everywhere!  We have to get rid of some stuff!”  And that’s how the great toy purge of 2017 began.  The plan was simple.  We’d start in the kids rooms.  Anything they don’t play with anymore or have outgrown, goes.

Purging the kids’ stuff is tougher than it sounds.  We found many items where we said, “Oh! Remember when Littles would play with/wear/do this?”  We’d both get a little nostalgic and then one of us would say, “Yeah, I know, but it’s got to go!  We’d say goodbye, take a picture of the sentimental item, and put it in the donate pile.

I don’t mind the stuff, but I’ll reach a tipping point of being driven crazy if enough stuff isn’t where it belongs.  It’s not just the kids stuff that bothers me, it’s the grown-up stuff too.  Things just start accumulating on shelves, a pile of mail starts magically reproducing on the counter, papers I meant to file for the past two months take up permanent residency next to the fridge.  Laptops, tablets, remote controls, and charging cords find places to live in the living room.  Mix all of it together and it just gets to be too much for me.  I can’t relax.  I’ll sit down to watch TV or write, and piles of crap will just be staring at me.  I’ll eventually reach my breaking point, catch the cleaning bug, and straightened it all out.

The grown-up stuff isn’t so bad, it’s the kids stuff that puts it over the top.  They have some serious stuff.  We bought our house with children in mind.  We knew we wanted them in the near future, so we wanted a house we could “grow into.”  When we moved from our 2-bedroom apartment, the house felt empty.  We had a love seat, a recliner, a coffee table, a TV, and a bed.  I remember thinking, “I can’t see how we’ll ever run out of space in this house!”  Seriously, one of the bedrooms used to be my closet; that’s how much space we had.  Six years and two kids later, our trusty castle can sometimes feel like a room at the Holiday Inn.

With kids, “stuff” goes to a whole new level.  Toys are everywhere, puzzles are half completed, and clothes are littered on the floor.  We have exer-saucers, johnny jump ups, multiple doll strollers, toy shopping carts…you name it, we probably have it.  Littles’ room is the worst.  Her bookshelf is just stuffed full and there’s no rhyme or reason to it.  She’s a little scavenger and when she finds something she likes, (like a rock from outside or and empty water bottle) it immediately becomes “pecial” (she says “pecial” instead of “special”) and it makes its way to her bookshelf.  Her floor doubles as her closet.  She also loves doing arts and crafts.  She’ll scribble on paper, wrap it up in another piece of paper (like a homemade envelope) and tape it shut.  These little treasures get immediate “pecial to me status” and have to be stored on the bookshelf accordingly.  It’s really sight to see.

In all the mess, I’m actually amazed at the wife’s and my memory recall as to where our kids stuff is.  The wife and I will ask each other, “Have you seen Littles’ Wonder Woman cape?”  And I’ll be like, “Yeah, it’s under the chair in her room” almost like a reflex. “Have you seen Lightning McQueen anywhere?”  “Yeah, he’s on the windowsill behind the couch.”  “Do you know where Giant Baby is?”  “Yeah, she’s in the stroller downstairs.”  “Do you know where the last piece of this puzzle is?”  “Yeah, it’s under Tiny’s changing table.”  It’s uncanny.

The wife and I had talked about going through the kids stuff and ditching some of it, but the trick is finding the time in our schedule to sit down and do it.  It’s not a quick half an hour, spur of the moment job.  It’s a scheduled undertaking.  We carved out some time a couple of weeks ago.  So, we unloaded the girls’ rooms and put everything in the living room.  Here was the result.

And that’s like half of it.  I mean really, they have toys they’ve never seen before, books they have never read, clothes they have outgrown before they got a chance to wear.  So, we talked to Littles about giving some of her stuff away.  She was a bit concerned at first, but once we reassured her she’d be able to keep the things that were “pecial” to her and we wouldn’t give away her princess dresses and important stuffed animals, she was fine with the idea.  We told her she had so many toys and clothes and there are other kids that could use it.  So, the great purge of 2017 began.  We gave away a lot of toys they don’t play with anymore, returned items to the people from which we had borrowed them, we put puzzles back together, found missing pieces to toys, and took a load to Goodwill.  The rest we put back in its place.  Littles even helped.  When we were done, we had this:

It was a great accomplishment, but it’s just a step in the process.  Littles room is still a mess (we actually tell her if she doesn’t clean up her stuff it will disappear), but it’s progress.  It also felt good.  The house felt a little lighter, and everything was where it should be.  Now we just have to tackle the storage room and our closets…and the garage…and downstairs.  For now, I’ll just relax, and write.