Tonight the wife says to me, “Hey, I feel like watching a funny holiday movie. Pick one out and we’ll watch it.” I go on Netflix and read a few descriptions out loud. She says, “Any of those will work, you know I like Lifetime movies this time of year. Just pick one while I finish something.”

So the wife and I just got done watching “Holiday Breakup.” It was a terrible movie. It’s about a couple that starts dating on the 4th of July, and breaks up on Halloween. They breakup because he’s too serious about everything and she’s not serious about anything. When they realize they have to go through the holidays single, they decide to fake their relationship until after the new year because they don’t want to be alone, have to talk about their breakup, and have people pity them.

Spoiler alert, in case you decide to watch this awful film…They end up realizing they like each other and get back together on Valentine’s Day. The End.

Like I said, the movie was awful. We both thought so. The acting was terrible and it was just ridiculous. Frau Farbissina from “Austin Powers” was in it, and we joked about how far her career had fallen. As dumb as the movie was, it made us laugh a little bit and we did spend some quality together, which was the point.

Quality time. We like to do that in our lives. Life can get busy with kids, jobs, appointments, chores, and sometimes we have to be really intentional about making that time happen.  It’s amazing how a couple of week can quickly pass because we’re so wrapped up in the routine of taking care of our family.  Sometimes we just need a day off.

So, a couple of Saturday’s ago, I took the day off from work. Since Saturday’s are the busiest days in my line of work, I rarely take them off; but, with the holidays coming, I knew if I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t get the chance for a while.

We took the girls to Loveland Pass. Littles had been asking to go snowboarding for a while, so we thought it would be a good day to do it. The wife and Tiny looked on as Littles and I headed up the “big lift” and took a run. After finishing, we had lunch in the lodge, packed up our stuff, and headed to the outlet mall. We got Starbucks, I bought a pair of work shoes, and the we headed to a park in Georgetown and played with the girls before going home. It was a beautiful day and we had a lot of fun family time.

Littles is ready to go.  When I asked her if she wanted to go on the “big lift,” she said, “Booyah, baby!”

The big lift, for a big girl!

Tiny doing what she does best…climbing.

Littles and the wife on the swings!  Weeeeeeee!

The best part of the day was the conversation the wife and I had while we were driving to our destinations. With the girls occupied in the back seat, the wife and I talked about our future plans.  We have some things coming up which could give our family some new and exciting opportunities.  We talked about them and what we wanted our family’s life to look like going forward.  We threw some things out there.  The conversation was excellent.  We didn’t talk about the “business stuff” about our family.  We dreamed, we held hands, and enjoyed that time together.  It was great.

I should take more Saturday’s off, and maybe watch some more crappy movies.

(Listening to “Clumsy” by Our Lady Peace)

I love being a dad, and I love being a human, but sometimes that switch has to be flipped a little more quickly than I would expect. That happened a couple of nights ago when I went to a concert. Here’s what transpired.

On Sunday night, I saw Our Lady Peace perform on the 20th Anniversary Tour of their album “Clumsy”.  The show took place at the Summit Music Hall in Denver.  What a great venue!  It’s small, intimate, and the sound system is incredible.  Plus, it was a general admission show which meant I could get up close.  I love that!  I went to the show with a couple of friends.  The wife was supposed to go as well, but due to some circumstances beyond our control, she ended up staying home.  Thanks for making it possible for me to go, honey! I really appreciated it! The show didn’t disappoint.  OLP played all of their hits and sprinkled in some new stuff.  It brought back some great memories and I had a great time being “human” for a few hours.

Our Lady Peace “Clumsy 20th Anniversary Tour”

“Clumsy” holds a special place in the soundtrack of my life.  Released in 1997, I remember hearing “Clumsy” for the first time during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college.  A good friend of mine had the album, and when I came home from school, he said, “Hey, you gotta hear this.”  The songs “Superman’s Dead,” “Clumsy,” “Automatic Flowers,” and “Carnival” quickly became anthems of the summer.  If we were driving anywhere or doing anything, chances are “Clumsy” was in the background.

I purchased my own copy of the CD during that summer, took it back to school with me in the fall, and introduced my friends there to it.  Keep in mind, this was 1997.  The internet was just taking off, music was barely starting to go digital, and everything wasn’t instantaneous like it is today.  Lots of fads and trends, including music, traveled from the coasts, inward.  Something that was popular on the west coast could take a few months to find its was to the midwest, or more specifically, Iowa, where I attended school.  When I brought “Clumsy” back to school with me, my friends hadn’t heard about it yet.  They liked it, just as I did when I heard it earlier that summer, and the songs became anthems of our sophomore year.  Rereading this last paragraph blows my mind; first, because “Clumsy” is 20 years old, and second, because of how much the internet has changed our culture.

Like I said, the show was great; and when I get to enjoy some “human” time, I make sure there is some “dad” time right around the corner. I just didn’t expect it to be at 2:30am the next morning.  I got home at a reasonable 11:30pm and crawled into bed. As I was falling asleep I thought, “This is great. I saw a show, I got home early, I’ll be recharged and ready to go when the kids wake up, and it will be dad time.” Well, dad time came early. No more than a couple of hours later, our youngest child, “Tiny,” decided to grace us with her waking presence.  She’s a year and a half old, so she usually sleeps through the night, but not that night.  I looked at the clock and it read 2:48am.  Since I was just out at a show, I told the wife I’d get Tiny; besides, she’s usually pretty easy to put back to bed. I did the normal routine. I grabbed a bottle, changed her pants, gave her a few drinks, and put her back to sleep.  Piece of cake…except that lasted until she heard the “click” of the door as I left her room.  She was up again.  After I gave her a few more drinks from her bottle, I put her down again, and went back to bed.  That lasted about 20 minutes.  She was up again.  I went back in, changed her, gave her a few more drinks, put her back down, and went to bed.  No dice.  She was up again. I was frustrated.  I let out a growl/grumble as I got out of bed for the 4th time.  The wife heard me and said, “You can’t go in there like that.  I’ll go.”  I told her it was okay and that I would take it, so I went into Tiny’s room to do the routine again.  Tiny was jabbering away and I could tell by her laughter that she thought this whole ordeal was a hoot.  I was not amused. I finally got her to go back down to sleep.  I was basically a zombie now as I went back to bed. At about 4:30am, we heard her again. The wife offered to go in, bless her heart. She went in and gave her magic a shot.  I don’t remember what happened after that, except for my alarm going off at 6:50am.

Running on fumes, I wasn’t the dad I planned on being, I was zombie dad.  I went to a chiropractor appointment and came back to the house.  It was 9am.  I was half dead.  I’m getting tired just writing about how tired I was.  I was thinking, “If I can just make it to noon, I can put Tiny down for her nap, I’ll put on a movie for our 4-year-old, Littles, and I’ll get a snooze in.”  That’s what happened. Luckily it was a gorgeous day outside, so we went to the backyard to play.  The sun was out and we all got some vitamin D.  We had lunch at 11:30.  I whipped up some quesadillas, green beans, and milk, basically anything that would be an easy clean up, then put Tiny down for her nap.  She crashed. Littles and I retreated to the couch, I put on Toy Story 2, and I managed to make it until Jesse told Woody her sad story about being donated by her owner.  The next thing I saw was the wife walking through the door, the closing credits, and Littles still snuggled next to me on the couch. The beautiful words, “Momma’s home!” erupted from my daughter’s mouth.  I was groggy, but I think it was about 3pm.

The wife was home from work, but she wasn’t done for the day.  She had a conference call that started at 5pm, so that meant I’d be in charge of dinner, baths, and probably bedtime; however, I just had a great nap, so I was recharged and ready to go.  I was ready to be dad again.   The wife took the kids for a while and I mowed and fertilized the lawn until her conference call began.

After my nap, I was ready to go!

I was back in the saddle.  While the wife was on her call, I kept the kids outside on a beautiful Denver evening.  They sat at the table on our back patio and made paintings.  I watched them paint while I grilled burgers and took in a beautiful sunset.  I had music playing through a portable speaker (“Walking After You” by the Foo Fighters).  It was totally peaceful.  I kept thinking, “It’s awesome being a dad.”

“It’s awesome being a dad.”

We ate dinner, we talked, we laughed, they made a mess with the ketchup.  Tiny is usually a mess, but this time Littles got in on the act.  While they finished eating, I cleaned up.  I turned my back for a few seconds and my 4-year-old had ketchup on her hands and her feet; it was like she had ketchup socks and gloves.  I was like, “Dude?”  She just laughed.  Whatever.  I was in too good of a mood to be thwarted by ketchup socks and gloves.  I gave the girls a shower and got them ready for bed.  The wife finished her call.  We put the kids down, talked about our schedule for the week, and relaxed.

The next morning, I dropped Littles off at school and Tiny at the sitter, then went snowboarding. More “human” time.  And that’s kind of how life goes, it ebbs and flows between being a dad and human.  Both are needed, both are fun, and both are great; and I am thankful for a partner who loves me as both and helps me be both.

(Listening to Third Eye Blind)

A few nights ago, I went to a Third Eye Blind show, by myself.  The wife was supposed to go with me, but at the last-minute, the kids got sick.  The wife knew how much I was looking forward to going to the show, so she just told me to go and have a good time.  I sent a message to a few of my friends to see if anyone wanted to go, but everyone had plans.  So, I went by myself and sold the extra ticket at the door.  No big deal.

I do a lot of things by myself.  I go to shows by myself, I go snowboarding by myself, I’ll go to a movie by myself.  Sometimes it’s hard to find friends to go with, especially last-minute.  Most of my friends are married and have kids and that lifestyle doesn’t really lend itself to spontaneity.  Hanging out with married friends with kids is kind of like going to dinner at a new hot spot in town; if you don’t make reservations at least a month out, then forget about it.  My wife and I are the same way.  So, sometimes it’s just easier to do our own thing.  Have you ever tried to get a group of people to buy tickets for a show?  Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.  Everyone decides it’s a good idea, then some people buy their tickets right way and some wait and miss out.  Then it’s like, “Why didn’t we all buy our tickets together?” and people are butt-hurt and some feel guilty.  Or, one person buys all the tickets, and then people drop out one by one and someone is left with 4 extra tickets.  It’s a nightmare.  When I go by myself, I see shows I want to see and if friends want to come along, great!  If not, no big deal.

I enjoy introvert time.  The wife and I both do.  We work hard to provide for our family and we work hard at being parents, so we recognize the fact that we just need to be able to shut down the engines, recharge, and just be humans; not mom, not dad, not husband, not wife…just humans.  Of course we love doing stuff together and we love spending time with our friends, but sometimes it’s just nice to be able to shift the brain into neutral.

The Third Eye Blind show was my neutral.  The show took place at the Fillmore Auditorium in Denver.  It’s a great venue to see a show.  I’d guess the place holds about 2,000 people and the floor is all general admission so you can get as close to the action as you can push.  I’ve seen a number of shows there.  It’s an older venue and a lot of musicians have graced the place with their talent.  Pictures of all the acts that have come through hang on one of the walls.  There are old school chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.  It feels like something out of the 1930’s.  It’s just a great vibe.

While I was waiting in line outside, there were two guys and two girls in front of me.  I assumed they were couples.  They were taking pulls from a Fireball bottle.  As we neared the front of the line they faced a dilemma.  The bottle wasn’t empty, they didn’t want it to go to waste, so they were talking about how to smuggle it into the show.  One of the guys said crudely, “You have two choices, next to the wang or prison style.”  I chuckled overhearing their situation and finally one of the guys chose door number one.  So there he is, shoving this bottle down the front of his pants, but the last person to drink from it didn’t put the cap on tight, so he now Fireball down the front of his pants.  They started making more jokes, and I just chuckled and thought, “There’s no way he makes it in with that bottle.”  But, concert security isn’t like airline security and as it turns out, concert security shies away from checking the private areas, so he made it through the turnstile without a problem.  A few moments later, I see them all take some more pulls from the bottle.  I hope they cleaned it first.

Anyway, I got inside, grabbed a beer, took my place in the crowd, and just enjoyed the show.  Sure, I made small talk with a few people around me, but it was mindless.  I just enjoyed the music.  Here was the set list.

1. Losing a Whole Year
2. Blinded (When I See You)
3. Narcolepsy
4. Faster
5. Wounded
6. 1000 Julys
7. Semi-Charmed Life
8. Company of Strangers
9. Graduate
10. Back to Zero
11. London
12. Slow Motion
    (Stephan solo)
13. How’s It Going to Be
    (Stephan solo acoustic)
14. Mine
    (Beyoncé cover)
15. Motorcycle Drive By
16. Crystal Baller
17. Jumper
18. Never Let You Go
19. God of Wine

They played all the favorites.  At first, Stephan Jenkins’ voice sounded every day of 53 years old, but he warmed up nicely.  He had a hard time with some of the highs, but what can you expect from someone who has been doing this for the last 20 years?

It was a trip down memory lane.  I remember buying Third Eye Blind’s first album during my sophomore year of college.  That’s the album that’s most nostalgic for me.  It reminded me of hanging out with my old friends.  We’d go to school or work all week and cut loose on the weekends and even some week nights.  We’d go to bars and shows.  We’d make a weekend trip to Colorado to snowboard.  We’d go to a ballgame.  We’d hang out in the dorms or catch a movie.  We’d grab a bite to eat.  We’d go to our local coffee house.  Anyone was just a phone call away and it wouldn’t take any more than a, “Hey, you want to do _________ tonight?” to get someone to come out.  All we had was time and we had endless ways to fill it.  Nobody had schedules and plans became concrete on a whim.  That’s just what we did and Third Eye Blind was part of the soundtrack to that life.

I got to relive that for a few hours; and as fun as it was to be a human for a while, I couldn’t wait to get back home and be dad.