(Listening to “Clumsy” by Our Lady Peace)

I love being a dad, and I love being a human, but sometimes that switch has to be flipped a little more quickly than I would expect. That happened a couple of nights ago when I went to a concert. Here’s what transpired.

On Sunday night, I saw Our Lady Peace perform on the 20th Anniversary Tour of their album “Clumsy”.  The show took place at the Summit Music Hall in Denver.  What a great venue!  It’s small, intimate, and the sound system is incredible.  Plus, it was a general admission show which meant I could get up close.  I love that!  I went to the show with a couple of friends.  The wife was supposed to go as well, but due to some circumstances beyond our control, she ended up staying home.  Thanks for making it possible for me to go, honey! I really appreciated it! The show didn’t disappoint.  OLP played all of their hits and sprinkled in some new stuff.  It brought back some great memories and I had a great time being “human” for a few hours.

“Clumsy” holds a special place in the soundtrack of my life.  Released in 1997, I remember hearing “Clumsy” for the first time during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college.  A good friend of mine had the album, and when I came home from school, he said, “Hey, you gotta hear this.”  The songs “Superman’s Dead,” “Clumsy,” “Automatic Flowers,” and “Carnival” quickly became anthems of the summer.  If we were driving anywhere or doing anything, chances are “Clumsy” was in the background.

I purchased my own copy of the CD during that summer, took it back to school with me in the fall, and introduced my friends there to it.  Keep in mind, this was 1997.  The internet was just taking off, music was barely starting to go digital, and everything wasn’t instantaneous like it is today.  Lots of fads and trends, including music, traveled from the coasts, inward.  Something that was popular on the west coast could take a few months to find its was to the midwest, or more specifically, Iowa, where I attended school.  When I brought “Clumsy” back to school with me, my friends hadn’t heard about it yet.  They liked it, just as I did when I heard it earlier that summer, and the songs became anthems of our sophomore year.  Rereading this last paragraph blows my mind; first, because “Clumsy” is 20 years old, and second, because of how much the internet has changed our culture.

Like I said, the show was great; and when I get to enjoy some “human” time, I make sure there is some “dad” time right around the corner. I just didn’t expect it to be at 2:30am the next morning.  I got home at a reasonable 11:30pm and crawled into bed. As I was falling asleep I thought, “This is great. I saw a show, I got home early, I’ll be recharged and ready to go when the kids wake up, and it will be dad time.” Well, dad time came early. No more than a couple of hours later, our youngest child, “Tiny,” decided to grace us with her waking presence.  She’s a year and a half old, so she usually sleeps through the night, but not that night.  I looked at the clock and it read 2:48am.  Since I was just out at a show, I told the wife I’d get Tiny; besides, she’s usually pretty easy to put back to bed. I did the normal routine. I grabbed a bottle, changed her pants, gave her a few drinks, and put her back to sleep.  Piece of cake…except that lasted until she heard the “click” of the door as I left her room.  She was up again.  After I gave her a few more drinks from her bottle, I put her down again, and went back to bed.  That lasted about 20 minutes.  She was up again.  I went back in, changed her, gave her a few more drinks, put her back down, and went to bed.  No dice.  She was up again. I was frustrated.  I let out a growl/grumble as I got out of bed for the 4th time.  The wife heard me and said, “You can’t go in there like that.  I’ll go.”  I told her it was okay and that I would take it, so I went into Tiny’s room to do the routine again.  Tiny was jabbering away and I could tell by her laughter that she thought this whole ordeal was a hoot.  I was not amused. I finally got her to go back down to sleep.  I was basically a zombie now as I went back to bed. At about 4:30am, we heard her again. The wife offered to go in, bless her heart. She went in and gave her magic a shot.  I don’t remember what happened after that, except for my alarm going off at 6:50am.

Running on fumes, I wasn’t the dad I planned on being, I was zombie dad.  I went to a chiropractor appointment and came back to the house.  It was 9am.  I was half dead.  I’m getting tired just writing about how tired I was.  I was thinking, “If I can just make it to noon, I can put Tiny down for her nap, I’ll put on a movie for our 4-year-old, Littles, and I’ll get a snooze in.”  That’s what happened. Luckily it was a gorgeous day outside, so we went to the backyard to play.  The sun was out and we all got some vitamin D.  We had lunch at 11:30.  I whipped up some quesadillas, green beans, and milk, basically anything that would be an easy clean up, then put Tiny down for her nap.  She crashed. Littles and I retreated to the couch, I put on Toy Story 2, and I managed to make it until Jesse told Woody her sad story about being donated by her owner.  The next thing I saw was the wife walking through the door, the closing credits, and Littles still snuggled next to me on the couch. The beautiful words, “Momma’s home!” erupted from my daughter’s mouth.  I was groggy, but I think it was about 3pm.

The wife was home from work, but she wasn’t done for the day.  She had a conference call that started at 5pm, so that meant I’d be in charge of dinner, baths, and probably bedtime; however, I just had a great nap, so I was recharged and ready to go.  I was ready to be dad again.   The wife took the kids for a while and I mowed and fertilized the lawn until her conference call began.

I was back in the saddle.  While the wife was on her call, I kept the kids outside on a beautiful Denver evening.  They sat at the table on our back patio and made paintings.  I watched them paint while I grilled burgers and took in a beautiful sunset.  I had music playing through a portable speaker (“Walking After You” by the Foo Fighters).  It was totally peaceful.  I kept thinking, “It’s awesome being a dad.”

We ate dinner, we talked, we laughed, they made a mess with the ketchup.  Tiny is usually a mess, but this time Littles got in on the act.  While they finished eating, I cleaned up.  I turned my back for a few seconds and my 4-year-old had ketchup on her hands and her feet; it was like she had ketchup socks and gloves.  I was like, “Dude?”  She just laughed.  Whatever.  I was in too good of a mood to be thwarted by ketchup socks and gloves.  I gave the girls a shower and got them ready for bed.  The wife finished her call.  We put the kids down, talked about our schedule for the week, and relaxed.

The next morning, I dropped Littles off at school and Tiny at the sitter, then went snowboarding. More “human” time.  And that’s kind of how life goes, it ebbs and flows between being a dad and human.  Both are needed, both are fun, and both are great; and I am thankful for a partner who loves me as both and helps me be both.