We’re flying to Minnesota to visit the wife’s family. I’m in charge of our 4-year-old. The wife is in charge of our 2-year-old. It’s unfair. I get it. I feel like the house in blackjack right now.

She might look like she’s giving me a hard time, but she’s not. The flight was a breeze.

We get on the plane and take our seats. It takes a little time to get the car seat in her seat. I apologize to the guy waiting to sit down next to us. He says, “No problem. I took two kids on a flight with me back from Korea. No big deal.” I love understanding strangers.

I get our 4-year-old in our seat. She asks when she can have the iPad. I tell her we can have it after we take off. She says, “Okay, daddy.” She’s completely chill. I look over to the wife and the 2-year-old. Things are going well. They’re in their seats eating snacks.

The wife and I are an aisle apart across from each other. In my backpack, I have an iPad, some headphones, and a truck load of snacks the wife packed that will last us till rapture. Did I mention our 2-year-old is potty training? Seriously. I feel a little bad. Just a little.

The wife and I look at each other. We sign I love you to each other. Everything is good.

We hit 10,000 feet. I get out the iPad. We have three movies downloaded on it. I give the 4-year-old a choice. Usually, searching through Netflix is an odyssey. It takes forever for her to pick something, but this time it’s different. She has three choices. She calmly picks Shrek. No complaining at all. My job is done for the flight. This will occupy her the next 2 hours. It’s time to relax. I put my headphones in, “Only You” by 112 is playing.

The flight attendant comes by and asks what I want to drink. I’m on vacation. I say, “I’ll take a vodka soda.” This is great.

Hmmmm. I have my headphones in, but I hear my 2-year-old yelling. We expected her to sleep on the flight because it’s her normal nap time. No dice. I look over. She has kicked a shoe off. She’s fidgety. Now she needs to go potty. I catch the eye of the wife. I can see it looks like this could be a long flight. Meanwhile, my 4-year-old touches my face and says, “I love you daddy.”

The flight attendant brings my vodka and soda. The wife sees it. Did I mention she’s pregnant? Yeah, she shoots me a look. Uh oh. She’s kidding…sort of. I deserve that.

My 2-year-old doesn’t want to sit down. In fact, she keeps yelling, “Poop!” It looks like the wife and her are going to do a lap up and down the cabin. I take a sip of my vodka/soda. My 4-year-old is watching Shrek and eating snacks.

It’s potty time for my 4-year-old. It looks like I’ll have to get up. I take her and she thinks the flush inside the plane is awesome. I did have to wake up the gentleman next to me, but he gave me a look. He knows the drill. I thank him.

One of the times our 2-year-old sat still.

We get back to our seats and to Shrek. I hear our 2-year-old yelling, “Hi!” To everyone. She’s kind of wild, but she has a tablet now so she seems to be doing okay.

We land in Minneapolis. Smooth flight. Smooth everything. I bet I’m sitting next to our 2-year-old on the way home.